In my years of working with adults in learning contexts, I’ve often heard one piece of advice echoing through the halls of self-help, personal and leadership development: "Be Yourself!” or “Be Authentic!” I’ve embraced that notion for a long time, before starting to find it problematic.
Yes yes and yes. I appreciate the importance of mapping out the decreasing solidity of the self as we grow up. AND at the same time I would like to advocate that it does not mean we aimless drift without purpose -- we simply expand the notion of what it means to be a self, and are less dependent on context or conditions to actualize it. At later stages of development, since we tend to be increasingly in touch with our own inner yearnings and gifts, and attuned to the needs around us, we can actually become even more clear -- not less -- about what it is that is uniquely ours to do in this lifetime. And yes, it's ever evolving, and dynamically clarifying based on moment-to-moment experience and information, but I'd like to assert that it can become clear.
Absolutely agree, David - I think clarity of purpose goes hand in hand with flexibility in our perceived sense of self. To me these are slightly different things - the capacity to be in flow with life and hold your "Self" lightly, aware of its multitude and flux - and the ability to anchor in a dialogue with a deeper knowing, allowing clarity over your direction to emerge in the process. I'm loving the nuanced thinking you are prompting on this - these are just my initial thoughts, but I'd love to reflect more deeply on this relationship between fluidity on one hand and clarity on the other and how they seem to go hand in hand.
Interesting reflection on 'authenticity', Alis. I mostly relate to your question 'Authentic - what does it even mean?'. Having said that, and giving it more thought while reading your words, I suppose it means emerging, changing, adapting, adopting, surprising, anchoring, drifting... Letting the Self Be, in response to situations, relationships, life stages...
Yes yes and yes. I appreciate the importance of mapping out the decreasing solidity of the self as we grow up. AND at the same time I would like to advocate that it does not mean we aimless drift without purpose -- we simply expand the notion of what it means to be a self, and are less dependent on context or conditions to actualize it. At later stages of development, since we tend to be increasingly in touch with our own inner yearnings and gifts, and attuned to the needs around us, we can actually become even more clear -- not less -- about what it is that is uniquely ours to do in this lifetime. And yes, it's ever evolving, and dynamically clarifying based on moment-to-moment experience and information, but I'd like to assert that it can become clear.
Absolutely agree, David - I think clarity of purpose goes hand in hand with flexibility in our perceived sense of self. To me these are slightly different things - the capacity to be in flow with life and hold your "Self" lightly, aware of its multitude and flux - and the ability to anchor in a dialogue with a deeper knowing, allowing clarity over your direction to emerge in the process. I'm loving the nuanced thinking you are prompting on this - these are just my initial thoughts, but I'd love to reflect more deeply on this relationship between fluidity on one hand and clarity on the other and how they seem to go hand in hand.
Interesting reflection on 'authenticity', Alis. I mostly relate to your question 'Authentic - what does it even mean?'. Having said that, and giving it more thought while reading your words, I suppose it means emerging, changing, adapting, adopting, surprising, anchoring, drifting... Letting the Self Be, in response to situations, relationships, life stages...
I LOVE your reflection on authenticity as flux, rather than a static thing, Dina! That resonates so much for me!
I should add: 'fallbacking' to my series of what authenticity means :-)